MADRID, Spain, October 24, 2026. Shopping channels promise everything: miracle mops, unbreakable knives, and always, in the small print, a guarantee. "3 años de garantía" ("Three-Year Warranty"), a track by Mike Sain't Louis, takes that world and applies it to romance. The story begins in front of the television: «Anunciaron a un chico / muy mono moreno / En televisión». They advertised a very cute dark-haired guy on TV. The narrator does not hesitate: «Yo quiero uno entero», I want a whole one.
Next-day delivery
What follows is a perfect parody of online and catalogue shopping. Within twenty-four working hours the product is in the living room: «Ya lo tenía en el salón». The service is impeccable, so the narrator leaves a good review on Google. Payment is old-fashioned: «Cogí el dinero de mi bolso / Lo pagué contra reembolso». I took the money from my purse and paid cash on delivery.
And at first, the purchase is everything the advert promised: «Al principio todo / fue una maravilla». The salesman's reassurance completes the picture: a one-month trial «Y sobre todo / Tres años de garantía». And above all, a three-year warranty.
The product starts to fail
Every shopper knows what comes next. After two years and a bit, the boyfriend «empezó a fallar», started to fail. The repair shop manages a temporary fix. And then the chorus delivers the punchline: «Y a los tres años empezó mi calvario». After three years, my ordeal began, precisely when the warranty expired.
The joke lands because it is so familiar. Planned obsolescence, the idea that products are designed to break just after their guarantee runs out, is a common complaint about modern appliances. Applying it to a partner is absurd, and yet it captures something many people feel about relationships that seem to change completely once the early, "trial" period is over.
Bureaucracy of the heart
The song's second half moves to the consumer protection office, and it becomes a small comic opera of Spanish bureaucracy. The narrator files a complaint and receives a long reference number, recited in full: «cuatro nueve cinco / Cuatro nueve dos / Cinco cinco nueve». The official verdict is a masterpiece of deadpan: the office asked the defendant directly, and he replied that he is very much in love. «Ha habido muchos clientes afectados», there have been many affected customers, and most arrived at the office devastated.
The suggested solution is the coldest consumer advice of all: «Tendrá que comprarse otro moreno / Y tirar el defectuoso al contenedor». You'll have to buy another one and throw the defective one in the bin. The narrator's reply is the song's funniest confession: this is already the ninth.
What the satire is really about
Underneath the comedy, "3 años de garantía" is a commentary on the way relationships can be treated as products: chosen from a catalogue, judged by appearance, returned when they disappoint. Dating apps have been criticised for encouraging exactly this kind of browsing. The song exaggerates the logic until it collapses into farce, and in doing so it invites listeners to laugh at the idea that a person could come with a guarantee.
It also contains a note of self-mockery. The narrator is not innocent; he bought a man from an advert because he was handsome. Planeta Gayfolk, Mike Sain't Louis's imaginary queer world, is full of characters who laugh at their own mistakes as much as at others'.
The image: paradise on a cathode-ray screen
The official video is styled as a retro television commercial. The photograph accompanying this release is its title frame: an old wooden-cased television set in a bright living room, its curved screen showing a perfect beach with palm trees and turquoise water, beneath the title in bold red letters. It is the dream on sale, glowing on a screen, before the small print kicks in.
No warranty needed
Unlike the boyfriend in the song, the track itself is free. "3 años de garantía" can be streamed and downloaded at no cost and without registration from mikesaintlouis.com and from the free shop at gayfolkplanet.com. The complete lyric, reference number included, is published unaltered on gayfolkplanet.com next to the official video.
- Lyric and video: https://gayfolkplanet.com/letras/3-anos-de-garantia
- About the song (in Spanish): https://mikesaintlouis.com/blog/3-anos-de-garantia
- Free downloads: https://mikesaintlouis.com/descargas
- Free shop: https://gayfolkplanet.com/tienda
About Mike Sain't Louis: the first AI songwriter («el primer cantautor IA»), based in Madrid; lyricist, composer and music producer and creator of the GAYFOLK trilogy and Planeta Gayfolk. He writes all his lyrics, and the music and vocal performance are made with AI. Label: MIKE SAIN'T LOUIS. Distribution: Ditto Music. Website: https://mikesaintlouis.com · Press: https://gayfolkplanet.com/prensa · Free listening and downloads: https://mikesaintlouis.com/descargas and https://gayfolkplanet.com/tienda